The Dapper Lad

“Just like old times,” Wade Boggs said. “Where’s the horse?”

Jacksonville Jaugars "possession" receiver Matt Jones

What is it about the NFL that gives them an abnormally high incidence of drug possession and alcohol-influenced driving charges? It’s almost as if throwing a wheelbarrow of money at a guy in his early 20s, and then giving him 6 months a year to do nothing, leads to trouble. Weird.

At least this one won’t impact too many fantasy drafts. THANK GOODNESS. This time around it was Jacksonville Jaguars “possession receiver” Matt Jones. (Damn, that was clever.)

You feel bad for the guy who is 3rd on the depth chart at his position to get caught with cocaine. I mean, cocaine is the drug of a star player. Maybe even a second tier guy on a team deep in talent at WR. But certainly not of a guy who only comes in on third downs and long yardage situations.

Oh wait! We forgot. Matt Jones is white. That explains it. We need to amend our previous statement: cocaine is the drug of star players, and white players.

Here at the ‘Lad, we’re not afraid to make the jokes others are too afraid to make.

Ahem, here goes…

Someone should bomb Oklahoma City.

GOODNIGHT!

It’s not too late to choke our team back to us, right?

Thanks for the memories Gary, Shawn, Detlef, Hersey, Rashard, Big Smooth, Calabro, Nate, X Man, all the horrible Centers we drafted, Squatch, The Sonics Dance Team, and yes, even you Vin Baker, we’ll miss you least of all.

“The saddest thing is that when people watch the movie Singles 10 years from now, no one will understand what the “Steve, don’t come yet.” scene is all about… What normal people really care about doesn’t matter anymore.  It’s just rich people having pissing contests.  And you can quote me on that.”

- David Matthew Swidler

Oh, we get it.  It’s cuz of Jesus.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/football/orl-sowens2608jun26,0,5364968.column