The Dapper Lad

It’s not too late to choke our team back to us, right?

This ad is great, but it didn’t keep les bleus from laying an egg yesterday.

We’re not sure we’d advertise being the official car of 0-2-1 with one goal in Euro 2008.

Seattle v. Dustbowl Billionaires begins today in a federal courthouse in downtown Seattle today. The trial will determine whether the Seattle Supersonics will play their home games here:

…or here:

R. Kelly has joined O.J. Simpson as the only black men who have ever caught a break from the U.S. legal system.

That makes it U.S Legal System ∞, Repressed Minority Group 2.

Don’t call it a comeback.

…and then how will we defend our Russian chess champions?

We hope that adding radio-controlled phalli to objects monitored and targeted by the missle defense shield becomes a key issue in the presidential election.

Game 7 between the Hornets and Spurs tips off in about an hour. The Dapper Lad is excited. REALLY excited.

We dapper folk love dirty play, it shows that the players want to win and they don’t care whose back, nose, or gonads they have to crush to get to the promised land. Previously, we haven’t really had a good measuring stick that established whether a particular matchup would feature enough dirty play for our taste. No more.

If a playoff series has people worried that the young man pictured above preparing to punch Julius Hodge in the nuts will be the victim of dirty play, it’s our kind of basketball. It’s like scheduling a Mike Tyson fight and worrying about what the other guy is going to do in the ring.

We know it because this guy told us:

“Jason Taylor is 6′8″ or something. It’s amazing that he can dance like that…You know who else is on that show? Kristi Yamaguchi.”

We just heard that Kal Penn, AKA Kumar/Taj/Name-of-questionably-portrayed-character-of-Indian-decent, is writing young undecided superdelegates asking them to commit to Barack Obama.

Sure, it would be awesome to get a letter from a movie star asking for your vote. What 23 or 25 year-old wouldn’t–WAIT! There are 23 year old SUPERdelegates? Really? How stupid is this system for choosing your presidential candidate?

John McCain, understandably, feels left out of political headlines these days.

Fortunately, he knows just how to grab the spotlight…he got his own crazy pastor:

Arizona State University is taking its cheerleaders and going home.

They’ve decided to replace the standard, tanned variety of cheerleaders with a group lead by the band director.

In short, we’re trading this:

For this:

Screw you, Dennis Erickson.