A Visit to the Oregon Territory.
What? We let the Oregon Territory into the Union? They’re states now? What the fuck? They get senators and everything? I thought we were only pretending to like the OT to keep Canadia from getting too close to California.
We (I,) the Dapper Lad’s Bay Area correspondents spent this weekend visiting Seattle and Portland and have the following observations:
The roads in Seattle (at least downtown and near Safeco) suck. The roads in Baghdad are better and they have IEDs exploding holes in them all the time. I was visiting with a friend who is in a wheel chair and the curb cuts were horrible as well. Furthermore, whatever elevated road that is between Safeco and the Port (99?) looks like the same design as all the highways that collapsed in the Bay Area during the Loma Prieta earthquake. The Bay Area reinforced or tore down all of those that were left. This one isn’t reinforced. We’re calling it now that when there is a good sized earthquake in Seattle, this road is going to drop like the Cypress Structure.
We went to the Mariner’s game Friday night. Jose Lopez came into the game with a higher batting average than on base percentage(OBP). Needless to say, he hasn’t read Moneyball.
When someone on the Mariner’s hits a home run, they show the “Funk Blast” sign seen above. We always thought “Funk Blasts” were a euphemism for truly vicious farts.
Before the bottom of the 9th inning if the Mariners are losing, they play the “Rally Jig.” The Rally Jig is no Rally Monkey. Needless to say, the Mariner’s lost (6-4.)
