Economic Stimulus Payment!
We just received our economic stimulus payment and are almost as giddy as a crackhead when the wellfare check clears. Of course real crackheads wouldn’t be sharing our giddiness because in order to get the six hundred ($600) dollars, one needs to have at least three thousand ($3,000) dollars in income and have filed a tax return. If there is one thing we learned from our stint as crack addicts, it’s that crackheads don’t file tax returns: they afraid of getting audited because their records are terrible.
This is the first time since the immediate aftermath of Katrina that we’ve received direct government largess. That time around FEMA coughed up two (2) grand and food stamps. Instead of buying Cheetos and Safeway brand cola like the food stamp program was designed for, we bought pate and some of that fancy cheese at Whole Foods that we can’t normally afford. That sure showed those Washington fat cats.
We are thinking about continuing our tradition of not doing what we were supposed to do with money that the feds give us. This time around, we are expected to do our patriotic duty is to go out and spend the six hundred bucks on the down payment for a flat screen (with the other grand (one thousand dollars!) being financed, thus driving us even further into debt, which was part of the whole problem to begin with. The government works in mysterious ways.) Instead of spending it, we’re thinking about throwing a spanner in the works and just leaving it in our savings account. That or just going out and buying a big fucking pile of crack.
Finally, in order to get some page views on what is otherwise an utterly forgettable post: Emma Watson pussy?
